Good day. Recently I wrote of Meeting an Angel—you won’t see that here; I might have jinxed myself in the past, because too many times I have written about something I have wanted and fully expected to happen. (SPOILER ALERT: It DID NOT.)
It’s on another site, which I will share with you soon (I am still fine-tuning it).
I was a part of some of the first online dating sites starting in 1999, one of which was Love on AOL!—a precursor to Match.com, I have been told. Anyway, it was there that I met my fiancée of 5 years—but I digress.
When I was free again and “unencumbered” by female companionship*, I joined another such site in 2004. While I met many interesting people, ultimately there was no one I wanted to spend a lot of time with. I grew disillusioned and bored—until in 2008 I reconnected with the Love of My Life—or so I thought. (Please see Entry 5020.)
Fast Forward to now. It is so different now. Women posing as romantic interests, wanting instead to part a fool from his money. Or, those that need the Dopamine Rush of having a man tell them how pretty etc. they are. These could be married, or with a steady partner but feeling unfulfilled—again, etc.
Some look like CGI—facial expressions that never change, with almost comically enhanced body proportions, like huge breasts.
While video chat wasn’t available 20 years ago, now it is. The general rule is that an early video chat is a pretty good indicator that you and her are most likely both real. But AI can even change that—and that doesn’t change those looking for the ego boost of a guy’s attention.
Most won’t, which makes me very suspicious. Each has her own good reason, suppose—on the surface.
My friends think me to be an Idiot (yes, with a capital “I”). They tell me that these “women” are all Scammers, and not only am I wasting my time BUT I am also enlarging my presence on the Internet, which in this case is not good.
I have several that I am in contact with, by chat. Again, the possibilities of a long-term relationship at first appear very good—but there is always Something. And, like the New York Stock Exchange, the fortunes of each go up and down.
“I’ll call you later.” Doesn’t happen.
“Let’s Video Chat.” Nope.
“I really miss you and I think of you often.” Uhhh YEAH okay.
I am not narcissistic, but am instead humble. And, I think I could a great catch, a prize, for the smart woman. I am a more mature man with many positive qualities and have much to offer the quote-unquote “right” person.
It has been an emotional roller coaster. I have allowed it to be so, because I want to believe that people mean what they say and try to do the Right Thing. I suppose that is naïveté.
I am tired of it. Despite my requests for more regular conversation, it doesn’t happen. It takes so little to say hello and inquire about the other person.
A lot has happened to me over the years, especially the past year. But—I still believe in Love. I have said this many times.
I am disillusioned and discouraged...now at last, perhaps—it is now time to believe in something else.
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*(see 1982's "Night Shift"; sorry can't find the exact clip.)