Sunday, February 6, 2005

Entry 2550 'And So It Goes'

First off let me say that I'm sorry to take so long to post anything here...busy with some stuff and not busy enough with others...can't seem to find anyone that makes me crazy the same way past ones have, esp. the past ONE. Hey, my feeling is, if you can't at least do as well as the best, then why waste your time?

Anyway, what a week...full of many revelations. I don't know that I've ever had a week like this one before. Most were good, nearly all were at least for the most part unexpected...I have a much better understanding of things now, though. Several great weights were usual, my imagination is much worse than reality...and there's two really good things that happened.

First, I admitted something to I really felt. I confessed; I testified. That was a great weight off me, to be sure.

Second, I think something very special has happened...I have a new close friend. We talk like we never have before. She tells me things she did not before, even when we were much closer. I guess she feels she can trust me I don't know that she can talk like this to anyone else. In some ways I think I am closer to her now in a way never before. We communicate...that was always one of my complaints. This is not a new one to be sure, as her latest is finding out, sadly.

(MEMO TO HIM--read your GIRLFRIEND user manual. You need to develop an INTUITIVE sense of what she wants/needs/is saying, or it will never work. By the time you figure it out any other way it's too late...and so are you.)

So today the week is least on the calendar. What started awkwardly early last Monday morning has changed me forever, in a good way I think. While the week might be over the effects will be long lasting.

If you're reading this, the one I call "B"...well, thank you. You have changed me more than anyone else ever has...or likely will. Let's stay near and close to each other in this new world of friendship we have found...and maybe, someday in the future...we'll find each other again.

"In every heart there is a room, a sanctuary safe and sound,
To heal the wounds from lovers past, until the new one comes along....
And so it goes, and so it goes...and you're the only one who knows.
So I would choose to be with you, that's if the choice were mine to make,
But you can make decisions too, and you can have this heart to break...."

—“And So It Goes", Billy Joel